I just got to turkey!!!

The title pretty much says it all... but I also I miss you all a lot!

Memories w/ haga taani

Here are some memories from MESP:
-The fact that ketchup does not taste the same in the Middle East.
-The overpoweringly intense incense in the Coptic church.
-Altay, our amazing guide through Turkey.
-Europeans in spedos on the cruise.
-The way that Kareema said "Shokran" if you complimented her on her food.
-Dancing Diaa.
-(on the telephone) "Hello, this is Micah Schuurman..."
-Granola mixed with yoghurt in Israel.
-Playing ultimate frisbee and soccer in Galilee. (and the most memorable aspect of the game, Hawthorne running into a car and putting a dent into it... no Matt, Im never going to let you forget that... :) )
-Matt Gruelkirk losing everything (his backpack, journal and camera in the taxi, his nalgene bottle on at least two occasions, one occasion involving a river)
-Molly's spunk and determination in her battle with her worms.
-Pommegranates, sometimes with icecream.
-The gigantic fish that we saw while snorkeling in the Red Sea. It was a Baracuda and it was looking at me hungrily... I swear!!!
-Singing songs on the roof of the villa for devotions.
-Baclava
-The fact that Turkish Delight isnt as delightful as one might imagine.
-Sand-boarding in Siwa
-That picture of Steve, with a huge beard and a belly dancing outfit.
-Steve's revenge: A video of Dena bellydancing.
-El Abd cookies and cake.
-The super sour oranges at Anafora that Becca kept enticing people to eat. :)
-The beds at Anafora. I felt like royalty with those misquito nets.
-The ornate chapel at the Austrian Hospice. That place was incredible!
-Steve and Anna when she visited (I think that they are engaged now)

That is enough for the moment. Im sure that more will come back to me. Post your own memories that I have forgotten.

Im doing all right. I seem to be through the worst part of my depression. Il-hamdu-lillah! Im still sad a lot, but Im doing better. I have very mixed feelings about leaving Dordt. I want to get out of here. But, there is a lot that I will miss here. I try not to think about it.
The biggest thing that I am struggling with at the moment is my health. This is the third Sunday in a row that I have gotten hit with a fever. I get better after a few days, but it keeps happening over and over... every Sunday...
The nurse diagnosed me with mono. Then the doctor undiagnosed me with mono, saying that it was some other virus. Whatever it is, I dont like it.
I am applying to work with the Mennonite Central Committee. Im hoping to get a position almost exactly the same as Phil's. The interviews that I have had so far have been really encouraging. Please pray for this whole process.
In other news, I am about as close as possible to being a pacifist without actually being one. Im writing a paper on it in which I show the problems with the modern Christian interpretations of Just War Theory. For me, it hinges on Abraham. He is the father of our faith. He was willing to sacrifice his own son, his only son whom he loved. If you read the scripture leading up to the sacrifice of Isaac, you see that Isaac meant everything to Abraham. He was the son of promise, the son through whom God would bless the nations. Isaac was the summation of all for which Abraham had lived. Yet he was willing to make the sacrifice, fully believing that God would return Isaac to him.
If we would claim to have Abraham as our spiritual ancestor (Father Abraham had many sons, many sons had father Abraham, I am one of them and so are you...) we should be similarly willing to give up everything, our liberties, our freedoms, our property, our own lives and even our sons and daughters whom we love. I say all this to make the point that self-defense is not an excuse to disobey the commands of Jesus regarding loving our neighbor. This does not "prove" pacifism. But, it is a serious question that we must ask regarding violence. God sometimes demands that his servants give all that they have. Look no further than the martyrs who have gone before us.
So, yeah, this is what I am thinking about. Jon, can you tell that I have been reading Kierkegaard? Can you tell which book? :)
Salaam ya habibeen

PS. Tory, when are you going to give us an update?

Turkey..

Hey Everyone
I am really excited to read about everyone's lives, especially those who are headed back to Egypt. Congratualtions Jon! You'll be a great intern!
Well, just wanted to let everyone know that I'm headed to Turkey next week for 10 days to see my new nephew, and my sister and I are going to take a bus trip to Damascus for a few days which I think I am even more excited for!
I miss you all! Let me know if anyone wants anything!
Anna

Another joining the Cairo crowd

Hey y'all,

This morning I got an e-mail from Dr. Dave telling me that he and Diaa are looking forward to having me be the next male MESP intern!

AL-HAMDILLAH!

And, this morning, I finished my senior thesis and sent it off to the poli-sci department, so a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I'm super-excited, especially about once again getting to hang out with all of y'all who are going to be in Cairo and that general area. Come on, everyone who isn't planning on moving to Egypt yet, everybody's doing it...join the club.

I'll have a bigger life update sometime soon, but I really wanted to share that with y'all.
Peace,
Jon

Dear friends,

I just figured out what I'm doing next year. I'm going to Egypt! I will be going with MCC to Beba, which I gather is about two hours south of Cairo. I'll be working out of a Coptic diocese, and most of my formal duties will be ESL-related. I'll also be doing some informal tutoring, and of course I'll be trying to learn as much Arabic as I can. I'm really excited! I look forward to visiting anyone who ends up in Cairo (and if I can take a vacation to Ramallah, I'll definitely do that, too, Tory!).

Besides this, not much is happening. I'm quite ready to be done with school (anyone else?)--good thing it's coming soon!

I hope your semesters finish well (and fast).

With much love,
Phil

Jewish refugees

http://www.economist.com/world/africa/displaystory.cfm?story_id=11021245

I'd like to know what you all think about this article....I would really appreciate hearing your thoughts.

Next week in...Cairo???

Hey bisen...so this is TOTALLY unlike me which is why what I am about to tell you is so funny. And sort of scary and unprecedented. But just a couple of hours ago I bought tickets to go to Cairo for a week. The week before our finals week and by graduation to be exact. "Why?" you might ask...well, that's an excellent question. There's this conference that my teachers recommended for me to apply for (the Global Young Leaders Summit) and once I got in everyone was really really encouraging me to attend...and so here I go. I can't believe I just spent $1000 to be in Cairo for a week...

All that to say is...I'm going back to Cairo in, like, a week!!!! Basically I get three days to hang out before the conference...so I'm trying to plan out really cool things to do: see Dr. Dave and Diaa and the MESP students, visit my host family...What I really wish I had right now was the Croc. All I really knew how to do when we were there was study. What to do in Cairo with three completely free days...

Let me know your guys' thoughts!

In other news, it looks like I'll be in Palestine in the fall. I am applying for Birzeit University's International Student Program (Palestinian and Arab Studies Program) and I am in communication with a bunch of different people about jobs/volunteer opportunities in the area. I'm super excited...though I still have no idea what I'll actually be doing...it's exciting to know that I'm just going. Again, scary because I feel like it's totally and completely in God's hands...but good. I'll write a better update later. Graduation in a month!!!

Wish you guys were coming with me to Cairo!!!

Tory

Updates, revelations, and confessions

I promised everyone a better update at some point, well here it is.

I'm at a low point in my life, personally, spiritually, economically, relationally, pretty much every way I can be. Well I take that back, I have a decent job in and though I feel underpaid I should not overlook the fact that I do have a job and work for a company none for not laying off people, so not every way but most ways.

This is meant to be a statement of fact and an update, not a plea for pity, sympathy, or payer, because I know that I am in a valley that I have been digging myself for years and I have no one to blame but myself and the only way to find the mountains again is to change these self-destructive and unproductive habits I have.

These revelations come as I am taking inventory of my life after some recent and major changes in my life. Diana and I broke up almost 2 months ago and though ultimately I know that this is what needed to happen and I have no doubt that it is God's will, I have gone thru some major periods of depression. But, it has really taught me many things, about myself, about God, and about how I'm going to get to where God wants me to be.

I've realized that I am a social chameleon. This isn't as true as it once way, but it is still very true. I am very shy at first when I meet people, observing, taking in, learning what they like and don't like, and ultimately who they want me to be. Then I adapt myself to that group of people, forcing my self to fit in where I ultimately may not. It's a defense mechanism I taught myself in middle school to keep myself from the constant ridiculing I endured. While this is an excellent defense mechanism, a chameleon, by it's very nature, never stands out. God is calling me to a life where I am supposed to be set apart, where I call people to truth, where I push for change. This is will never happen as long as I continue to hide believes that I fear will ostracize me.

I am often envious when I read posts on here and see how you guys are doing exactly the things I want to be doing, while I hide in the shadows afraid that I don't have the strength of will to do it. In particular I want to say this of Micah. Micah you continue to push on for what you believe in though it seems the entire world is against you. You fight for what you believe in, even though doing so is like walking thru fire. I wish I had 1/10 of your courage!

I've also learned how selfish I am and how much of my life I live for myself, particularly in my spiritual life. Looking back at my spiritual life I am reminded of Israel (not the modern nation, but the Biblical nation). I've been reading thru the Old Testament and I'm working thru 1 & 2 Kings right now and it seems like the story of my life. King X comes to rule Israel (or Judah) but he was a wicked king and set up many idols and because of his wickedness [insert bad thing] happens to Israel or X prophet speaks out against him. It seems like the nation just goes from one phase of idolatry to the next, with an occasionally short lived repentance when tragedy strikes.

I feel like my whole life God has pursued me, calling me to ministry and calling me away from the various things I do that don't live up to his standards. But the Christian life is supposed to work the other way. I should be pursing God with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my mind. It's ironic that one of my favorite passages in all of scripture is when Jesus is asked what is the greatest commandment and he responds with this. I've loved this verse for so long, but it has never truly sank in or taken root in my life.

I look back at my relationship with Diana and all of my other relationships with women. I see the fire and the passion I pursed them with, even ignoring faults I may see or warning signs that the relationship won't last. Why have I never pursed God like this, who has no faults, who will never hurt me, who only wants what is best for me always and forever. I recently read Captivating (this is the female equivalent of Wild at Heart for those who don't know) and it taught me a lot about how God wants to be pursed with that same passion that I've pursed the women in my past. He wants me to think about him constantly, to find creative ways to please / make Him smile. He wants me to give up large portions of my free time talking with Him and sharing with Him. He wants me to think of Him as the most precious thing in my life, like a pearl of great price.

Thinking of it this way really caused it to click for me in a new and exciting way. We often, (well maybe not everyone, but I know I often do) think of God in masculine form, but this not true. God is wholly other, neither male nor female, yet both male and female were created in his image, so while he is neither he encapsulates both. Perhaps this is why when we talk of couples we talk of completion.

These revelations probably aren't anything starling for most of you, and in a way they aren't for me either. These are things that I've "known" for pretty much my whole life, but it's time to start living them. I feel like I'm at a crossroads right now. God's tired of my lukewarmness and it's time I either live with passion for him or be spewed from his mouth. I felt I needed to write this because a) I promised you all an update on my last post, b) it's easy for me to say this in my head and then forget it the next day like I've done so many times in my life. I felt I needed to announce it and allow others to keep me accountable to the promises I'm making to myself and to God today.

Now for an update on the specific changes in my day to day life.

I've switched to working 3rd shift now. The change has been somewhat difficult, but ultimately I like the more free time I have and I think that it is the right thing to do career wise, at least for the time being.

I'm looking for apartments. I think I've pretty much found one. Most likely I will be moving to Clifton, which is a fairly rough urban area in downtown Cincinnati. I'm hoping that this will also allow me to get more involved with inner city missions within Cincinnati. Part of the reason I think my spiritual life is in such a slump (in addition to what I said above) is that for the last year I haven't been involved with any form of ministry.

I've decided that I'm going to try and self-teach myself Arabic. I figure with all the free time I have during times when the world is sleeping due to my 3rd shift schedule, this would be a great time to try an teach myself. I'm planning to use my $600 economic boost check to buy Rosetta Stone software. I haven't decided if I will by just level 1 & 2 or buy all 3 levels.

I'm very jealous of those of you who are returning to the Middle East in the near future.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my little confession. Special thanks to those who let me vent during times when I was really down. It meant a lot to me!

I love and miss you all so terribly.