I just looked at a picture of flat five--not the people mind you--just the flat itself. I'm not going to lie it brought a bit of a choke to my throat. Life in the States is just so different isn't it? We worry about whether or not our heels are high enough to be professional and not slutty enough to warrant a hitting on by the new guys we meet--or at least I did as I tried to pick out dress shoes today. In Egypt I worried that I was dressing modestly, or that I would accidently wave at Kareema with my left hand. I'd much rather worry about those things. In short, I miss Egypt, you all and being stretched in a way that means something. America seems so complacent to me right now.
Tomorrow after I get out of work I'm hitting the road. I'm finishing packing for a summer spent in an office learning about the inner workings of a FB-NGO. O Lordy, be with my soul. I'm ready to get out of this place and I guess you could say I'm ready to be there--I guess. I'm ready for a change, for something to shake my life up. I want the burning desire to pick up my Bible, or mean the songs I'm singing in worship. I want to learn something impactful and meaningful about God from someone and something. I'm in depserate need of some radical change. Enough complacency--the time is now to move. Tomorrow I'm beginning a move I guess--Phoenix, here I come. That was said kind of lame wasn't it? People keep asking me if I'm excited and I tell them truthfully not really. I'm just steady and ready. I wish I could breakdown like I did in Amman (whoa, remember that one guys!? ha). But I don't even know what I would cry about. I'm not upset, I'm not excited, I just AM. That's all. Maybe heading cross country and entering into a region unfamiliar to me is what I need. I'm just restless.
I love you guys and miss you more than ya'll miss Naema! =)
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3 comments:
I love you Mandy. If you ever figure out the proper size of a heel that is not too tall, but allows a short person to be seen let me know.
Mandy! I'm so excited for you--even if you're just feeling steady. That sounds like a better state of mind to begin something new anyway. Give me a call once you're settled in!
Alissa
mandy, that's exactly how I feel. Pissed that everything is just so darn complacent, its hard to feel convicted or excited about really anything meaningful. Therefore I feel shallow and vain and stupid and bored. IT SUCKS I totally hear u. I hope pheonix really shakes things up though.
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