I decided to wait for two days until I calmed down so my post could have some meat to it instead of just ranting and raving. I've been having a small problem with church lately. It seems most times I go the pastor speaks about Islam or the end times or something of the sort. I was talking to my roommates about this Saturday as we were trying to decide which church to go to. I told them I'm tired of the same old shit services (sorry folks), and that if the pastor spoke about Islam or the end times I might walk out. They assured me this pastor was on a series and it wouldn't include these topics. So I went to our church here on campus (about 1200 people attend). Everything was going fine, the worship was a bit dry for me, but lately it has been. The pastor started speaking and he was talking about narratives and how important they are. Everyone has one, it's important to who you are...blah blah blah. He starts to tell Jesus' narrative and it's going well, I'm looking at Christ in a bit different way and everything is fine. Then he decides to compare the fundamentals of the Bible cross-religiously...yup you guessed it --he picked Islam. He only said one sentence but it caused silent, hot tears to flow. He said something along the lines of the narrative of the Qur'an being a god of vengeanceand no wonder Muslims are so...dedicated to the things they do. Clearly, to me meaning suicide bombing. Then he moved on to another topic. Just real quick but real deadly. All I could think about was the 1200 people who were there just filled their knowledge bank about Islam with one more slanderous fact. I think I became slightly dehydrated with the amount of tears that flowed down my cheeks at how sad, angry and upset his one sentence made me.
In other news, I had a confrontation with one of my friends on Monday night. There has been what I would definitely call a rift between my suite now and the suite I used to live in. I have felt for the past few weeks that they had just written me off and were ignoring me. Turns out I was partially right. I talked to my friend and she said everyone is just feeling 'weird' about me being back. I'm back but apparently different and they don't know how to be my friend. Again, for the second time in two days I started crying those silent, hot tears. I want to live my life here like I've been changed. If I go back to being the same old Mandy then the last seven months of my life were done in vain. I will NOT pretend to be someone I'm not. Who knows what will happen with all of us.
Also, I put in my application for Student Body President yesterday--we'll see what happens.
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