What the heck is going on?!

Ok, reading Molly's blog has motivated me to finally sit down and tell you guys what's been going on in my life. Let's see, I don't really even know where to begin. My third day back in the states and my first day back on campus, a friend and I were walking around campus when two boys walked up to us, put knives to our stomachs and told us to give them everything we had. Unfortunately for them and us, all I really had was all my Egypt stuff (passport, Jerusalem bag, picture CDs, journals)...with some crucial ID and credit card crap as well. Seriously, I may have been the worst person to rob for miles, I still have holes in my shoes, I don't have any of my own clothes, and I had just deposited the 450 remaining dollars from Egypt into my bank earlier that day. Unfortunatly, I haven't been dealing very well with the experience. My campus has completely dropped the ball, it's like I still don't really go here, my friends are all scared of me, apperantly I have been through too much for them to even try dealing with, and Egypt is becoming a distant memory, increasingly overshadowed by memories of dark nights and knives flashing. I went up to Northern Wisconsin last weekend to get away from people and suburban America and I seperated my shoulder playing a ridiculously dangerous game called broomball. Somehow, my life is fairly hysterical at this point. I should have expected, that with my luck, I would get hurt. I'm not really sure what else is in store for these next couple of weeks, but I look forward to them with cynical humor.

Thus is my life.

I've been reevaluating a lot of what God's will for me is, who the heck I am, and what the heck I'm supposed to be doing with my life. Ironically, I'm in Crime and Delinquency class where the prof has enjoyed assigning me a lot of books about violence, preventing crime, and the theology behind delinquency. I am constantly brought back to our time together when we studied about perhapse the biggest source of delinquency in the world today--extremism and fundamentalism, and how what I'm learning about victimology and criminal behavior can be applied to the Middle East. Micah stopped by campus last week and, seriously, it was so good to talk with him. It was great to have someone look at me and not think, "Oh, incredibly wise and broken Tory, we can't talk with her because her experiences are so far beyond us!" Micah, you're awesome. Also, Phil Rizk came and talked in my intro-level comparative politics class, which, if you can believe it, was a really really really interesting experience. He shared a bit about the conflict and, to be honest, it was a shock to hear the same voice talk about the same stuff, only dumbed down a lot. He told me later that he soon realized a couple of minutes into class that the class didn't even come close to the calibur of our group. So that's nice. I told him a bit about how much I miss Egypt, so he gave me some El Arosa tea from Egypt and we talked about Gaza. Wierd mixing of two worlds, but it was very welcome. Funny to think that last time I heard him talk was two months ago in Jerusalem...Anyway. It was good to see people from Egypt. They reminded me that there is more to life then this crap.

Fortunately, I'm learning more and more that it is Jesus that is more. That is the one thing that has remained sure and constant. Remember in our last conflict and change lecture we went around and talked about what we would do when we got back to campus? Remember Abbie's pithy conclusion that all she wants to do is learn more about Jesus? Well said my friend, well said. Il-hamdulilleh Jesus is still walking alongside us, Jesus is still offering his peace to a broken world, Jesus is still making all things new.

I hope everyone is doing well, that you get better Molly, and that God continues to teach everybody things beyond your wildest expectations. Remember how only a couple of months ago we were living the most incredible lives ever? Well, that didn't stop the moment we boarded the plane to the states. It's been sort of a sucky lesson to learn, but it's one well worth it. I miss you guys a lot!

Tory